Well the weekend came and went as usual treatment on Friday and sick all weekend. Then came Monday and the scare of my life. The doctors thought I might have a blood clot in my leg but it all turned out okay for now. I am on MORE medicine again but if it keeps me out of the hospital that is fine with me. I know that my faith is being tested but I am stronger than this disease.
The past couple of days have been up and downs. I know there are lots of people out there losing there jobs and now it could be happening to me. I work in the oil and gas business and things are not doing to well. I am trying to keep my chin up but it is so scary and depressing. I am trying to get the chemo out of the way in case I lose my insurance. God help us all something has to give.
This was in my lupus now magazine and it really makes alot of sense. The lesson here is to cherish your loved ones and cherish your life. We get caught up in the struggles that life sometimes throws our way. We hold grudges against those we perceive as having wronged us. We stay stuck in situations that don't nurture our spirit. We play small for fear of failure or expectation. Be present with your loved ones. Let them know how much they mean to you. Forgive an old grudge, Eat a big piece of cake, Dance to loud music, Sleep Late, give and receive hugs, Watch a butterfly, play games and LIVE LIFE.
Yeah its Friday. I have another treatment tonight and praying I don't get sick. My apartment looks like a pig pen! I would love to have enough energy to clean, go to the store and do all my laundry but I don't. Then again I am sure someone wants to volunteer to do all of it for me! LOL.
Things have been pretty stressful and I am doing my best to handle it. I pray every day for things to get better. (in the world, all the lay offs and my health) I really believe that if you have faith that things will work out!
The week is half way over and I am glad. The treatment last night went pretty good, I guess I am getting use to them. Then this morning I woke up and almost died!!!!! My pillow was covered in hair!!! I screamed and started crying. I guess you don't realize what can happen until it does. But hey I am sure that all my friends will go and donate their hair for me a wig! LOL.
After spending all day at the hospital yesterday I find out I still have to have the chemo treatments for at least another month. I really had my hopes up that I would not have to have them, so it is kinda depressing. I still have faith that this is just a stepping stone in life and things are getting better.
Yes the weekend is here and time for another treatment! I go into the hospital on Monday for all day testing. (wish me luck) after the test he will determine if I have to have the chemo IV or take the chemo pills anymore. I have faith that tonight is my last treatment and I am on the way to remission. I want to thank all of you for following me on this journey and for all the help, advice and shoulders to cry on you have given me. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Its hump day so the week is almost over. I have my sixth treatment on Friday and then test all day at the hospital on Monday. Keep your fingers crossed that this is it. My body cant handle the chemo any more and my poor hair is just falling out in clumps. I am doing my best to keep my spirits up and want to thank all of you for checking on me, it really means alot!
Tuesday is here and its time for another treatment. I am really trying to keep a positive attitude before I go. It is very depressing to sit in a room full of people and be hooked up to an IV, then you start getting sick. (not a pretty picture) I am praying every day and trying to keep my chin up, believe me there are people out there with bigger problems than mine. The one thing that I have started doing every night before I go to bed is pray and reflect on the day (the good and bad parts of the day) I have to tell my self that once the day is over, it is over! So please every day tell someone that you love them every day!
Boy the weekend went by so fast. My treatment Friday went so much better this time. It is still not easy to get sick in front of a room full of people. I have met some great people during my treatments and it makes me really appreciate everything I have. Lupus is a bad disease to have but there are several people in my group that have cancer. Going through all this again makes you stop and smell the roses. We have our bad days but I have faith they will get better.
Sometimes you just have to decide to feel better. You carry on with your day as if you felt better. It doesn't always work, sometimes you end up overdoing it and in worse shape than you started, but a lot of times it helps to get up and going. While it is not all in your head, your attitude can go a long way towards making things better or worse. That is what I did today and it did help some. I would say I was at about 75 percent today. It can be frustrating though! The good news is I am getting better at dealing with these things. Now it's time to bring on some good days!
Well started to feel better yesterday afternoon just in time for my treatment. I am sicker than a dog today. It is really depressing when you are taking medicines to make you better and you don't feel they are working. The doctor says since the medicine is a chemo type drug it will make you sick before it makes you better. I just have to pray and have faith that this is working.
Well my treatment on Friday went okay but got sick sunday night and ended up in the ER again on monday. I am doing better today just in time for my treatment tonight. I am really trying to keep my chin up but I am starting to wonder if the treatments are really helping.